“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” — Stephen R. Covey
If you’re working on deepening or expanding your professional network, you likely understand the importance of making connections. But what truly sets successful relationships apart is trust. Without trust, connections remain shallow and transactional, rarely leading to the meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships that support long-term success.
So, how do you build trust in your professional network? It turns out that one of the most effective ways to build trust is surprisingly simple: Show genuine interest in others.
Too often, networking is approached with a focus on showcasing our skills, achievements, and interests in the hopes of impressing others. But as Dale Carnegie wisely pointed out in How to Win Friends and Influence People, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” This perspective shift—focusing on others instead of yourself—changes the dynamic of relationships. It builds trust and lays the foundation for deeper, more meaningful connections.
The Importance of Showing Genuine Interest
Showing genuine interest in others is a cornerstone of building trust. It’s not about being insincere or pretending to care; rather, it’s about truly engaging with people, being curious about who they are, and valuing their experiences. In networking, this approach shifts the focus from trying to impress others to fostering authentic conversations. When you show interest in others, they feel valued, seen, and heard—key components of trust.
Consider how most networking interactions happen. Many people focus on what they can say to make a great impression or how they can present themselves in the best light. However, this self-centered approach often backfires because it can come across as disingenuous. The real key to building strong relationships is to become genuinely interested in the other person’s experiences, thoughts, and needs. By doing so, you open the door to authentic connections.
Steps to Build Trust Through Genuine Interest
Building trust isn’t an abstract process—it involves specific actions that demonstrate your interest in others. Here are five ways to do this effectively:
1. Ask Thoughtful Questions: Asking thoughtful questions is one of the easiest ways to show interest in others. It signals that you care about their opinions, experiences, and challenges. For example, instead of simply asking, “What do you do?” you might ask, “What inspired you to pursue your current career path?” Questions like these encourage deeper conversations and show that you’re truly interested in understanding the person’s story. Just as important as asking good questions is the need to listen carefully to the answers, which brings us to the next point.
2. Practice Active Listening: Active listening is the practice of fully engaging with someone while they are speaking. This means making eye contact, nodding in agreement, and avoiding distractions such as checking your phone or thinking about what you’ll say next. When you actively listen, the other person feels heard and valued, which builds trust. Active listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about understanding the meaning behind them and engaging with the speaker’s emotions and thoughts.
3. Remember Details: A small but powerful way to demonstrate that you care is by remembering details from previous conversations. If someone shares something personal or important with you, referencing it later shows that you were genuinely paying attention. For example, if a colleague mentioned they were working on a challenging project, following up with, “How’s that project coming along?” in a future conversation shows that you were engaged and care about their success. This thoughtful act strengthens the bond of trust.
4. Seek to Understand Different Perspectives: You’ll often meet people with different opinions, experiences, and backgrounds. Building trust requires being open to these differences and seeking to understand where others are coming from, even if you don’t agree with their views. Instead of arguing or dismissing their perspective, ask questions like, “I’d love to understand more about your approach—can you explain what led you to that conclusion?” This curiosity and respect for diverse perspectives fosters trust by showing that you value the other person’s thoughts and experiences.
5. Show Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. In networking, empathy means validating the experiences and emotions of others. For instance, if someone shares a challenging experience, instead of brushing it off, acknowledge their feelings by saying, “That sounds like it was really tough. I appreciate you sharing that with me.” Empathy helps people feel understood and supported, and it’s a critical component of trust-building.
The Impact of Focusing on Others in Networking
When you prioritize others in networking, the results are profound. Not only do you build trust, but you also lay the foundation for stronger, more lasting relationships. By demonstrating genuine interest, you encourage others to trust you, and in turn, they become more willing to support you in your professional journey. This mutual trust creates a network of individuals who are invested in each other’s success, which is far more valuable than a collection of surface-level connections.
In the long run, building trust through interest and empathy is far more effective than trying to impress people. People are more likely to remember how you made them feel than what you said. By focusing on the needs, perspectives, and emotions of others, you create an environment of trust, support, and collaboration.
Sadly many professional relationships are often rushed and transactional, so taking the time to build trust through genuine interest can set you apart. By asking thoughtful questions, practicing active listening, remembering details, seeking to understand different perspectives, and showing empathy, you’ll cultivate relationships that are not only meaningful but also mutually beneficial. Trust is the foundation of any strong network, and when you build it through genuine interest, you create connections that will support you throughout your career.
So, as you go out into the world and grow your network, remember: It’s not about being interesting—it’s about being interested!
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