“If they really knew me and what was going on, they wouldn’t actually think I’m as good as they say I am”
Have you ever thought this?
If so, you may be experiencing imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome happens when what you’re hearing and experiencing externally feels disconnected from how you actually feel about yourself internally. You may be performing well, receiving recognition, and earning the respect of your colleagues, yet privately feel like you’re putting on a farce and fooling everyone.
And it happens more often than many people realize.
I’ve coached high performers at all levels, including senior engineers, managers, directors, and VPs. These are people others admire and look up to, yet many of them privately struggle with confidence and believe they don’t really deserve the success they’ve achieved.
That’s what makes imposter syndrome so powerful.
It tells us lies. Lies!
Lie #1: Confidence Comes First
One of the biggest lies imposter syndrome tells us is that we need confidence before we can perform well.
We think that confident people are able to take action because they already believe in themselves.
But often, the opposite is true.
Taking decisive, intentional action can actually create confidence. Action often comes first.
Confidence comes on the other side of getting outside your comfort zone. You don’t always feel confident first and then take action. Sometimes you take action despite the uncertainty, learn from the experience, and confidence grows because of it.
If you’re waiting to feel completely confident before you take the next step, you may be waiting forever.
Lie #2: Everyone Else Has It Figured Out
Another lie is that everyone around you knows what they’re doing while you’re the only one who doesn’t.
Nope.
Everyone is trying their best, but they don’t have it all figured out.
Even highly experienced professionals are often making educated guesses, learning as they go, and figuring things out along the way.
The people you admire aren’t necessarily confident because they have every answer.
They may simply have become more comfortable with not having every answer.
You can give yourself permission to say:
“I’m doing the best with what I know right now.”
That doesn’t mean you stop learning or improving. It means you stop expecting yourself to know everything before you’re allowed to move forward.
Lie #3: I Need to Know Everything
This is especially dangerous when you’re moving into leadership.
You may believe that becoming a great leader means having all the answers.
But that’s not what leadership is.
Leadership is about learning quickly and creating an environment where other people can learn and contribute too.
Instead of telling everyone what to do, you can empower them to think, make decisions, and take action.
You and your team are learning together.
You Don’t Have to Become Fearless
The goal isn’t to completely eliminate feelings of uncertainty or imposter syndrome.
You’re probably going to have moments when you wonder, “What if they really knew?”
That’s okay.
The goal is to increase your ability to handle uncertainty, discomfort, and the things you don’t know.
When you become more flexible in those situations, imposter syndrome starts to lose some of its power.
You can acknowledge the feeling without letting it determine your actions, and when you take intentional action despite the uncertainty, something powerful happens.
You begin to build the confidence you were waiting for in the first place.
You may discover that you’re far more capable than imposter syndrome has been telling you.
Watch more in the video below:
